Understanding In A Relationship

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This is actually similar to the Romance advice given for no. 2) OTHER PEOPLES BELIEFS but the difference here is when friends/family are comparing your man to other people. Here comes the understanding in the relationship you are in.

Now, this might not always be a bad thing, and the comparisons might even be very positive.

What we are talking about here, is particularly negative comparisons that are designed to make you feel less special when you feel like the most special person in the world.

It’s actually a form of envy on their part.

The comparisons are designed to make what you hold special, seem quite trivial and even sub-average. There is no romance advice here.

It is quite simply “Bitchiness”.

Here’s a typical example of what I mean.

“He bought you a silver chain? Ooh, that’s nice… Debbie’s guy got her a gold one with real diamonds in it; show it to us, Debbie… Oooh, stunning… see?”

Now, this could affect you at 4 different levels:

IMMEDIATE DESIRED EFFECT

Your gift your partner bought you suddenly seem less special. But here you should make the understanding in a relationship and try to build it up.

ALSO READ : How To Be A Good Girl Friend

NEGATIVE THOUGHT INDUCTION

Debbie’s partner bought her a more expensive gift; therefore Debbie’s partner must love Debbie more than your partner loves you.

MESSAGE

Your partner is a cheapskate and you are stupid to treat things he buys you as a show of love. Are you really that cheap to get so excited over something like that?

LONG TERM EFFECT

Each time your partner does something nice for you or goes out his way, you won’t help to wonder how cheap it is compared to what other people might be getting.

Now, quite often you will recognize these sorts of comments for what they are.

Unfortunately, being human, like most of us, it’s difficult not to let these comments affect you at a deeper level.

If you allow them, they’ll have the desired impact that they were intended to.

Romance Advice Gem

Part of winning the battle to reduce their impact is to realize the game and recognize them for what they are.

Smile in the knowledge that you have your “mental trash can” at the ready and then throw the comments firmly where they belong. In your mental trash can.

THEN EMPTY IT.

Other comparisons might be against his job, the car he drives, the clothes/accessories he wears etc. etc.

Your relationship and your romance aren’t designed around what other people do for other people.

And it certainly shouldn’t be placed around material values.

Also, bear this romance advice in mind:

IF you are comparing Debbie’s boyfriend’s gift to your own; Remember, Debbie’s boyfriend’s gift is quite cheap compared to what a movie star or a celebrity with millions might buy for his girlfriend! So here there is need of understanding a relationship.

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ROMANCE ADVICE – ACTION:

Using just this one piece of romance advice will keep this romance destroyer at bay!

Don’t EVER let yourself compare your man to other people, or let other peoples comparisons affect you.

If you do, you’ll be comparing everyone you meet for the rest of your life.

There will ALWAYS be someone better looking, better dressed, better car, better house, better… you get the picture?

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